armwriostle | ♦ [INBOX] ♦

thank you!! i put a lot of work into it 💖

i thought it'd be funnier if i made you think i'd use schlong...i have to keep my readers on their toes! but also that word feels way too juvenile lol

[ Says the person who just wrote three penis poems. But hey, thanks, Natsuki! You were good for inspiring one single solitary thing. ]

no attempts at booty calling here!! that's not really my style!

i just figured i'd honor everyone that ended up on weiss's list...or i guess book report is more accurate? i'm a little jealous of her thoroughness

hmmmm i bet i could write more if i had to do that....

[ No one's dick report could beat a dick report from Monika! It'd be so long and deep and intense and-- ]

Isn't talking about dick somewhat juvenile in its own way?
Well, it was charming and I got a good chuckle out of it.

[Teenage boys talk about penis and giggle about it, Monika.]

Hm? And here I was told that it wouldn't be publicized.
Not that I thought it was going to be a well kept secret...

That really explains why you sent this now.

[Wait until he reads it and finds out that his own measurements and Weiss' measurements are different. But that's a problem for Wriothesley when he finds a copy of the report.]

Well, you know what? If you want, you can just ask. I won't say no at this point. What was the word she called me? Unabashed. [Guy who has had his dick measured twice. Might as well a third.]

it's only juvenile if you let it be! i'm a serious writer 😌

either way i'm glad you liked it ❤️ because ummmmm yeah....i learned it wasn't meant to be shared the hard way....i thought it was a joke 😬😬

especially since

well nvm

[ Ragna's already embarrassed enough. ]

i'd say you're the one that's taking this the best, so you've got that going for you!!

[ .....Wait. She rereads that last bit again. ]

are you

are you asking me to write about your rizzley jr. in a non poetic way 🧐

[ Talk about unabashed... ]

Knowing this place, nothing stays a secret for long, so...

Though, I don't know what to say about the whole situation since I had to measure it before and the measurement I got was different. [If she asks why he had to, then he'd tell her. She could dig up J's old network post if she cared to sift through the network anyways. It's really all out there.]

Better to just take it in stride than get upset over spilled tea.

Also, please don't make it sound like I'm asking you to do it. You're the one saying you could write more if given the chance.

[He isn't into getting his dick measured. It's a little weird and awkward, honestly.]

ummm true? people *do* love to talk...

ohhh so wait

your measurements didn't match??? well that's interesting....

[ She assumes this is just a "guys being dudes" thing, so she doesn't question it. But the offer? There's a delay while she considers it. Her logical side says no. Her Spade tattoo is saying live a little, you dummy, because you clearly like dicks. Which one to listen to...

When it doubt, pick the option that a) allows her to use her writing skills, and b) potentially sets the record straight and makes Weiss look like a bad dick measurer! This is definitely not some competition Monika just made up. ]

i could write plenty you know 📝📝 i could even make it a short story for some variety!

...and this might make for a funny second date 😆

[ "Big Rizzley Measures Up" is going to fly off the shelves like hotcakes! ]

They didn't.

[Look. Wriothesley really doesn't need to be the biggest dick out there. He doesn't need to be even in top ten. He was comfortable with what he had regardless of the size. He is just absolutely boggled why it would be different???

Performance anxiety? A little too chilly? Surely there is a reason because he refuses to be seen as a liar or a guy who overcompensates.]

The idea that you could write a short story is horrifying.

But also, now I can't help but be vaguely curious.

[He doesn't like to be the center of attention. He doesn't want to be perceived. But he does have a boundless curiosity that has him honestly intrigued at the idea that she could write even a paragraph about...well, a dick. Then again, she did send him a poem. Perhaps he just isn't a wordsmith like others.]

Part of me says I shouldn't agree, but the curious part of me is too curious to say no.

aww how sad....

i wouldn't want you missing out on an inch that might be there!!!

[ Obviously, she can't relate. But if she came in second in any competition, she'd want to find some way to cheat her way--er, respectfully and responsibly get the first place finish she deserved. She's sure he's the same. ]

what's so horrifying about it? it's a fun challenge to do something so immature! i like challenges!

so as they say.....challenge accepted!!!!

i won't let you down sir rizzley 🫡

It's nothing like that.
It's just odd not to get consistent measurements.

[Maybe if it was an inconsequential different, he'd chock it up to just there being a bit of leeway. Three quarters it not an inconsequential amount...]

To be able to write that much about someone's dick is horrifyingly impressive. I don't think I'd be able to.

[He also feels like that maybe he has kind of roped himself into a ridiculous situation? Why did he do this to himself? Ah well, it's all in good fun.]

I look forward to it.
But you're mistaken.
You can't let me down. I'll be happy with whatever you deliver.

okay so

things maybe took a turn?? 🙃

[ Ominous... ]

but a poem i read recently inspired me and i got more serious than i intended but.....

well here you go! let me know what you think! ❤️

[ Behold. Her short story. ~~I'm so sorry I have no idea what I've done.~~ ]

[He doesn't reply right away.

Mostly because he has to read what she sent him, but also because...

There's just a lot to unpack here. The poem(?) at the beginning throws him off quite a bit. What does this girl read??? In all honesty? The story isn't bad. It's an enjoyable read. It reminds him of some of the more intense mystery novels that get popular in Fontaine. It all seems to be a normal story of horror and suspense until...

More of the poem interspersed and the foreboding feeling the story seems to want to illustrate is enjoyable. It's the ending that really throws him off.

Wait a minute-]

Hey.
Question?
Is this about my dick? Also, does the 9 mean something specific?

[Girl. Help. What did you send him?]

[ Oh boy. That sure is a reaction. Does it mean he liked it...? ]

well...yeah! the main character is your wiener

the nine's a reference to ragna, your dick's enemy...hence all the red 🌹

red can look really pretty in certain ways! it's such an evocative color!

[ Just like blood! That's a totally random example, of course. ]

Another question?
Why?

I'll say that it was entertaining to read.
I just wasn't expecting how it ended...

Also, I think that sizing comparison got to your head.
I'm not bothered if someone is bigger than me.
If my partner's are satisfied having sex with me, I have no reason to compare myself in such a way.

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you can decide how long it took for her to get back with...this lol

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